When your family does not support you

When your family does not support you



I don’t remember who, but someone asked this question here about 6 months ago. If it was you, I’m sorry.
I wasn’t ignoring you. Even Mr. Phenomenal lacks words sometimes.

I don’t remember your name, so please permit me to call you Frank.

Frank, I want you to know that I woke up this morning thinking about you, and though it took me this long to find the words that will speak to your heart, I hope it brings you clarity.

When your family does not support you

We’ve been taught in school, that the family is the fundamental unit of society. Most of what we know and believe comes from our relationship with that unit. And so it’s understandable that you grow to expect the continued love of a parent or sibling. However, school hardly prepares you for what happens when a loved one decides to stop loving or supporting you.

It’s perfectly human to feel hurt.
It’s perfectly normal to feel paralysed.

However, these emotions are useless. Let’s leave them for the other mortals.

Let’s stop thinking about your feelings for a minute and consider your purpose. Your path. Your destiny.

Brace yourself, Frank. The paradigms I’m about to introduce may not be easily digestible. Just stay with it.

Though your biological parents brought you into this world, you were not created for their viewing pleasure. You are not an answer to their prayers. You’re not the fulfilment of their dreams. Their job was to bring you here safely and they did. Applaud them for a job well done. Now FOCUS!

“Though your biological parents brought you into this world, you were not created for their viewing pleasure.”

Back to you.

You’re here now, Frank. The question is WHY! Despite their best intentions, your parents are likely ill-equipped to answer this for you. But you don’t need to answer this in a hurry.

It counts that you’re at least thinking about it.
It counts that you’re growing into a person who has learned to factor in longterm purpose into your decision making.
It counts that you’re appreciative of the ‘grand scheme of things’.

Many years ago, a teenage boy named David wielded the power to save his country. Israel faced an existential threat at the hands of a giant named Goliath and everyone prepared for the worst.

David was the youngest of 7 sons, and as he sought audience with the king regarding his solution, opposition arose. Not from his enemies – he was too young to even have any. Opposition came from his own elder brothers.

Those who were to be his cheerleaders became his detractors. They couldn’t understand why they as experienced soldiers couldn’t solve the problem and win the king’s prize. Why did it have to be this young shepherd boy with no training?

David was probably used to this sort of treatment, but he had no emotional attachment to their lack of support. He pressed on regardless and refused to leave until he was heard by the king. The rest is history. He won the war and eventually became THEIR KING.

I’m not asking you to abandon family, Frank. I’m asking you to cut the umbilical cord that feeds you nothing but anger, resentment, bitterness and disappointment.

“…cut the umbilical cord that feeds you nothing but anger, resentment, bitterness and disappointment.”

Look up and remember WHY you’re here, or at least ponder it once again. You’ll be even more useful to the said family that way.

Remember Abraham?
Remember Joseph?
Remember Jesus?

Family is good. Destiny partners are better.
No wonder Solomon wrote, “…better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.” (Prov. 27:10)

“…better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.”

And let’s assume that you just need your family in order to feel complete. Don’t worry, Frank. They’ll come around when you respect yourself enough to stop begging for love. Ironic, isn’t it?

Everyone loves a success, Frank.
Figure out how to become one.
Heaven is counting on you.

Listen to this song when you get the chance.

Stay Phenomenal,

John Obidi
John Obidi is a foremost Online Business Coach and Speaker. He helps professionals achieve Authority Status in 90 days or less, using Social Media. He is also the founder of SmartBcamp.com, a community dedicated to closing the knowledge gap among working professionals in Nigeria.
  • Acha Harrison

    Stop begging and start loving yourself for who you are…. Thanks for sharing John!

  • And I read this. #energizing