Don’t blame your emotional incompetence on anyone’s emotional inability…
If you want to ever lose weight or achieve anything significant in your life then you need to ensure you build your self reliance muscle.
Nobody is under any obligation to save you.
Not your spouse, not your parents and not your kids.
I mean it is amazing to have support. Some days you have ZERO ginger and you just need that pat on the back to make it through but many times, the tap on the back is absent. So what do you do? Suspend your life until it comes?
It is just life, no matter how much you try, you will only be priority in your own life. Think about it, no matter how much you like me, you can not like me more than you like yourself.
No matter how much you like me, you will not always be there for me, no matter how much you like me, if I am sad and in need of a hug, you might just prefer to hug your significant other at that time. It is not because you are a bad person, we just have different priorities.
A lot of people depend on others for emotional fuel, for motivation, for encouragement, they demand it as though they paid them a salary.
I am not saying abandon your relationships. I am saying, receive whatever they give you, receive whatever love you get but never, NEVER depend on another person so much for support that you become useless in their absence.
Let whatever you receive be extra, but be the main ingredient in your life. Build yourself up, develop your self reliance muscle.
Three ways that you can develop your self reliance muscle are;
- Affirmation – Draw up a list of positive affirmations to get you pumped up and excited about life. Recite them daily like you mean them, feel them, breathe them! e.g “I am strong and powerful” “I am a conqueror” “I am an overcomer” When I talk to people, I usually hear a lot of negative self talk. “I can’t..” “I don’t think… I can” etc What good have you gained from that?
- Self trust – Develop your self trust, for many years you keep saying “I will start tomorrow” “I will do this” and you never did. So you no longer believe the promises you made to yourself. This has a way of negating any plans you eventually make because your subconscious sees it as an empty promise “after all, she says this every Sunday” One of the ways to develop self trust is by making promises to yourself and keeping them. But how can you do that, when you never comply??
- Set small goals – One of the reasons you never get around to doing what needs to be done is the mere fact that your goals are too big for your mind to grasp. Help your mind, by setting small goals and accomplishing them, this develops your self trust and it also gives your mind permission to expand. This week, ensure you drink 2 litres of water a day, let that be your only goal, do all you can and once you accomplish it, you begin to believe in yourself again. Keep setting small goals and accomplishing, soon the goals will be bigger and then you would have built emotional stamina. It may seem like a small thing but it will bring great results.
In 2016, may you discover strength in yourself you never knew existed